The Price Tag

  • SumoMe

Just recently one of my male friends proposed to his long-time girlfriend. It was one of the best news I’d heard in months. After all, after dating for five years or so, there was always this unspoken silence whenever he and fiancée came around for any social gathering that included our whole ‘gang’ of friends. I don’t think it was necessarily to do with the fact that they were already acting like they were married (in every sense of the word, y’all) but the fact that all my friends (myself included) felt that my boy’s fiancée was only with him because of his money.

 

I know it sounds crass but when he first announced his summer wedding plans, I couldn’t help but ask him if he had considered signing a pre-nuptial agreement. So here’s the issue. My male friend is a young British-Ghanaian thirty year old who works in the City of London. He started investing in the stock market when he was eighteen and to me, is the most financially astute guy I’ve ever met. Apart from owning his own flat in Fulham, he has property in Ghana and both his parents are surgeons.  His fiancée on the other hand, dropped out of uni to become a hairstylist for this ‘unknown’ black celebrity. She doesn’t even make a third of what my male friend earns per month, and on top of that, she has no interest in financial matters the way he does. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying money is everything; however I’m always a little bit ‘iffy’ when I have to discuss money matters with friends or even family who seem to consider it as a non-issue. For me, money is hugely important and if a person lacks a solid financial understanding, it can create enormous problems. Plus, when you think about the fact that financial reasons are often one of the top three reasons cited in a majority of divorces, it makes me wonder why people don’t deliberate over it more.

 

My male friend and I had dinner last weekend when I went to London. He told me his reasons for not wanting to ‘go there’. After all, we are both from Ghanaian backgrounds and from where we come from, when you marry someone; you don’t do ‘such things’. Plus he loved this girl and if it was her deepest intention to suck him dry, well, he was happy for her to do so. I was shocked! I hate to say this but I am of the opinion that certain people are just in for the money and not the love. Besides, if I had about £25,000 pounds as a 26 year old living in the UK and I was getting married, I can honestly say that statements like ‘whatever is mine is yours’ wouldn’t be uttered so quickly. I called my dad a few days ago and we had this conversation about pre-nuptial agreements. My old man thinks I’m absolutely bonkers to even think like that. To him, if I trust God and this and that, it wouldn’t even cross my mind. Maybe he’s right. There should be no price tag. Plus, I am a Christian and God will always provide, right? But hey, Christian or not, Ghanaian or not, I don’t see why protecting the assets that I spent years building should be a HUGE issue especially if I had it was even half of what my male friend has (like, hello??) I don’t think it means you love the person any less, or that it’s an invitation for a divorce. However, I do think the other way round, that if the person truly loves you, signing a piece of paper wouldn’t be a big deal. Plus, like my good friend Emeka commented, ‘wouldn’t it hurt more if you later found that I had all this wealth and had ‘hidden’ that information from you’? I mean that would mean, you didn’t trust the person, isn’t it?

 

Let me hear from you guys out there. If you were financially well-off, and your spouse to be didn’t have nearly half of what you possessed, would you ever think having a pre-nup and why?

 

Leave your comments below or email me directly at nkontobeanie@yahoo.com

****Elsie Acheampong is a British-Ghanaian writer, poet and blogger. Her interests are in African Fashion, christianity and other African-centered issues’***

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